Crazy

So went to talk to the lady about my anxiety and she basically told me that she doesn't think I should even concider going back to work for atleast 6 months. She said that it's going to take a long to time to work through what's behind my anxiety - and deal with my PTSD and deal with my fibro and deal with underlying depression that she's sure I have.

At first I was shocked at the diagnosis of depression, so I asked her what the definition of the word was... and the inability to feel joy or happyness is the definition... so I guess in some ways I'm depressed because I do have a hard time finding joy in things.

But this sucks I was hoping a 3 month leave would be enough... 6 months or longer?

And shit... I don't want to do the PTSD therapy there are certain things that are best left unremembered.... but I guess it might help... DAMN it though... fuck...

Fuck...

Chronic pain workshop tomorow at 5:30... another councillor appnt. at 10:45 on friday.... I'm tired of having everything in my day revolving around me being somewhere to talk about me being sick... being sick is hard enough without having to go place to talk about being sick all the time.

Gah.... I'm just frustrated... not sure what to do with myself really... I just wanted to get through this faster than 6 months.