Tired

I'm tired... real tired... the kind of tired that makes you want to curl up and do nothing but sleep but I can't sleep and I can't get untired.

This is rough right now... I was feeling so good today... but after doing two loads of laundry it killed me... and I don't feel good at all.

But I'm trying to stay away from the negative... positive... positive.. :)

Tomorow I have a lot to do.. LOTS of phone calls and LOTS of explaining. I'm going to try and relax as much as I can... and I need to find something to do for recreation... because I'm scared I'm going to become fixated on whats wrong with me and not be able to relax :(

So like I said earlier I'm going to start baking... Tomorow (between phonecalls) I'm going to bake brownies... I'm going to freeze some of them for later... but I need ziplock bags! Gah.. and garbage bags... and febreeze (The guy's work clothes always stink).... GARBAGE CANS... Oigh! I need lots of things... a muffin pan!!! lol I'm going to have to talk somebody with a car into letting me go shopping with them... shopping is the hardest chore I have... hehe my friend S* should take me... I bet she would if I asked.

My ears have been ringing really badly lately... and I've been "resting" not napping lately... I just lay in the dark and do nothing... it's refreshing... I'm thinking of putting together a CD of relaxing music that I can listen to as I lay there.... plus that'll buffer noise from the rest of the house.

I'm going to also do research on what I can replace the bulbs in the house with... I'm looking for something that simulates natural light... since I find that kind of light the most my favourite.... I'm wondering if that will make any difference... but it doesn't hurt to try.

I also want to put another peice of counter in my kitchen... on the other side of my oven... that way I can have more room for what I'm doing to make it easier to prepare meals.

I'm really looking for little easy things that I can change in my day to day life that will improve things for me.

Sometimes i'm scared I'll never recover... so while I can I should make things easier for myself.

No reason you goals can't be motivated by the worst and best case senario.

GAh... ears ringing right now :( not feeling so great... i'm really tired.

I'm going to go lay down :(